OVER-THE-COUNTER ATTACK!
How headlining the New Bands Stage at the Carling Weekend: Reading and Leeds festivals should put the tin hat on Kasabian’s swift invasion of Planet Rock
Words: Rich Pelley in London
Photographs: Ed Miles in leafy Leicestershire
Kasabian (L-R: Chris Edwards, Chris Karloff, Tom and Serge) prepare to retaliate against bottle-throwers
Pfftttth! One minute you’re a bunch of nobodies. The next, you’re swaggering around with Liam Gallagher, performing your Top Ten single on TOTP, headlining the Carling Stage at the Carling Weekend: Reading and Leeds festivals, and everybody’s trying to book a holiday to your hometown of Leicester (possibly). So, how did you do it? Here’s Kasabian’s ten-point plan.
1: Come from Nowheresville, UK
Serge Pizzorno (guitar): “We’re from Leicester so it’s always gonna keep you grounded; you’re not gonna turn into some fucking prick who thinks he’s better than he is.”
Tom (vocals): “We don’t have many famous exports from Leicester. Englebert Humperdinck: he knocked The Beatles off Number One with Please Release Me’. And Mark Morrison, bless him.”
2: Don’t fight your peers
Serge: “It’s not a playground – we’re just fucking musicians – but if someone says something, like takes the piss out of your shoes, they’re gonna get some stick back.”
3: … erm, except Keane
Serge: “Keane… it’s just irrelevant music; it just washes away in the rain. If we’re gonna sing a song about love then people are going to believe it, ’cos we’re being truthful. That’s what music’s lacking at the moment, a bit of honesty.”
Tom: “I’ve never met Keane – they’re probably lovely guys – it’s just I don’t think we’d get on brilliantly. We’d be getting wired and they’d be reading a book.”
4: Play some really mad gigs
Serge: “We played after the last game of (the last) football season in a working men’s club, a place called the Half Time Orange in Leicester. We’ve done a few festivals on a farm, in a barn, with 250 mates bringing tents. We played the Cabinet War Rooms; we wanted to see what Churchill’s bed was like. It has a really nice side table that he could eat his breakfast from.”
5: Bag some celeb fans
Serge: “We’ve acquired a few along the way. Liam (Gallagher)’s come to see us and it’s a fucking honour ’cos he fucking bleeds it, man.”
6: Bag some real people as fans, too
Serge: We’ve got hooligans, office men, women, children, nurses. It’s the whole range of Britain who are coming along and they’re all getting on with each other.”
Tom: “There’s some girl who comes to these gigs and she just stares, it’s fucking weird. I hope she’s not going to try to kill us.’’
7: Sneak onto children’s TV
Serge: “We were on CD-.UK recently. People gave us shit for doing it but we couldn’t give a fuck, man, if you’re playing music you believe in and if it’s gonna get more people into the band, then the more the merrier.”
8: Have a Top Ten single
Serge: “I’ve no idea how fame will affect us. I think we’re connecting with people; people are getting on this fucking trip with us. But we’re humble boys, man. Nothing’s gonna change us.”
9: Be for real, man
Serge: “Our album’s about love and violence, the strongest human emotions you go through. There’s a lot of belief and a lot of passion going into the songs. If you’re gonna preach then you’ve got to believe it yourself, man.”
10: Headline the Reading/Leeds Carling Stage
Serge: “It’s the first time we’ve played there so it’s a fucking honour ’cos it’s a fucking great festival. I know we’re gonna give the fans who come and see us the best show of the weekend.”
THE ROCK ’N’ ROLL FEST TEST
What does Reading mean to you?
Tom: “It means the world, just getting out there back on stage again. Playing festivals is the best thing ever, it’s better than doing a tour.”
Who are you looking forward to seeing?
Tom: “Jurassic 5, The Ordinary Boys, The Von Bondies. I’m gonna get in there when I can.”
Anyone you don’t want to see?
Tom: “I don’t want to see the fucking Darkness. Apart from for a bit of a giggle. There’s no-one I really hate; everyone’s got their place onstage.”
What you going to do if pisses with rain?
Tom: “I’m just going to apologise, say, ‘I’m really sorry, God can’t do anything about it’.”
Are you prepared for flying bottles?
Tom: “If someone bottles us I’ll throw the fucker back. Twice as hard”
Serge: “We’ve got some big fuckers from Ireland coming over to look after us, so we should be OK.”
Got any advice for festival virgins?
Tom: “Make sure you bring plenty of toilet paper, plenty of alcohol, plenty of chemicals and just live life, man, that’s it.”